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In Action

by Vehicle Flips

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1.
One fine evening my friend comes over Her latest creation in hand A videotape of herself driving over I’m scrambling to have made some other plans What do I say? I say nothing at all I say “that sounds ok” Does my insincerity show? My feelings about applauding mediocrity are mixed This mutually supporting network Showcasing our mutual brilliance What do I say? I say nothing at all I say “that sounds ok” Does my insincerity show? Entertainment is endurance We have a wonderful time Like everything that you see, uncritically And it will like you back just fine What do I say? I say nothing at all We have a wonderful time
2.
Don’t ever drive to Chicago Hearts get left in dumpsters in Chicago And your glasses could get kicked around On the floor of the Lounge Ax Yes, it’s true I thought I could see clearly, for miles Don’t ever drive to Chicago Without a contingency plan It the event it should be raining And the time is three a.m. Yes, it’s true I thought I could see clearly, for miles I picked up old drink stirrers Mottled together with grime Finally a pair of glasses That turned out not to be mine Yes, it’s true I had a vision, oh so clear Don’t bet on a sure thing in Chicago Upsets happen in Chicago Like that fire that burned down everything And speaking for myself ― I had a vision, oh so clear Yes, it’s true I had a vision And the disposition To see it through
3.
A yacht with the big bold name Antagonist Was the first to dock on the morning of the Steelers game And as I walk by I guess that makes me the protagonist Though it was assuredly not my aim I can hear the parting words of my boss, reverberating “An idea isn’t worth anything, until it can be sold” I have nothing to offer that could convince them of anything They would riddle me thoroughly full of holes The October sky shining gloriously overhead The all-too-familiar strains of the Steelers’ fight song Glasses are raised triumphantly on the top deck As I imagine a fight song of my own
4.
Maraschino 02:01
5.
Potomac 03:24
Andrew, we’re caught on the Chain Bridge It is minus five degrees Andrew, we’re broken down on the Chain Bridge Won’t you please answer, please? Andrew, the taxicabs say they won’t come down They don’t respond to such emergencies Andrew, the taxicabs say they weren’t born yesterday Come on now, this is Washington, DC Three of us are huddled in the back and I am running across the Potomac Andrew, if I’ve ever sounded cold to you before If our dealings have been strained Well Andrew, some more coldness is in store But I promise it won’t remain Andrew, you’re a hard man to get through to You are a hard man to reach Please on this single occasion Can we overlook those qualities? Three of us are huddled in the back and I am running across the Potomac Three of us are huddled in the back and I am running out of quarters across the Potomac Three of us are huddled in the back and I am running out of hope across the Potomac
6.
In this city of fireworks the nightly explosions rattle the tableware and the opposing rowhouses flicker with an unreal air They were right about the tourists for the tourists came They were wrong about the benefits for our lives are otherwise the same In this city of fireworks a gentle fallout of ashes drifts slowly past settling on shiny parked cars tuned to the stereo simulcast Take a look at the budget Look at the line items Flinch at the cost of fireworks Wince at the cost to light them We shrug our shoulders and close the blinds and pay attention to things happening inside We shrug our shoulders as the night is flickering and the fantastic has been routine In this city of fireworks our civic pride squirms uneasily though we do not even bother to call the talk shows to register our opinion
7.
My New Year’s resolution is not very high Things are as cloudy as the five-day forecast sky As the smoke from this section, smoking designated Another revolution around the sun gets celebrated Seated at a booth of authentic naugahyde The truth tastes synthetic, like the food pictured inside The menu, from the top view. Ready to order Some of your weak coffee and a hot apple pushover It seems the server this evening forgot to mention On holidays they do not offer the reduced esteem selections The diner on the boulevard of broken dreams this was surely not My mistake, I forgot To be an optimist
8.
Working for the platitude man Working for the platitude man Just like a computer program Working for the platitude man Just like a See-n-Say Pull the string, ten hours a day Seven days are in a week When you reach the end, repeat Oh platitude man Dale Carnegie leadership class Learn what you need to learn to pass Sincerely cannot be affected When absolutely disconnected Oh platitude man Hangin’ tough, guys! Way to go! I’m right there with you all the way! There is no I in teamwork! Teamwork makes the dream work! Working for the platitude man Working for the platitude man Just like an empty fuel can Just like a flow-chart diagram Oh platitude man
9.
I’m leaving with my senses intact Together I will get my act Without fanfare, without regret I’ll move along, and make the best of it I’ve got a clean slate coming my way No longer will I have to pretend My prospects here are meaningful and genuine Without apprehension, with much relief Watch my detractors as they sink beneath the horizon line I’ve got a clean slate coming my way I’m having a yard sale for everything That I’m not planning to bring Who, you might ask, would want to buy a card table full of unrealized, unfulfilled, frustrated attempts to get off the ground? I’ve got a clean slate coming my way
10.
I didn’t make it in the barrio, I couldn’t take it in the presidio With head held kind of low, there was no need to say I told you so The labor shortage was overrated, the housing shortage was understated Retreating against the demographic flow Because Kinko’s wages are the same wherever you go Looked at the cost of living, looked at the cost of leaving I find myself right back here This great devising, misguided enterprising I find myself right back here My resume was roundly ignored, a fact further underscored By the lack of a permanent residence This grand and dashing move, supposed to make life improve But there’s this lack of compelling evidence Looked at the cost of living, looked at the cost of leaving I find myself right back here Well, the view was pretty decent, but the architecture was much too recent The altitude seemed kind of strange and the seasons weren’t going to change The romance of points west is hard to deny But what looks good in pictures doesn’t necessarily fly There is something to be said for a city nearly dead Or at least in protracted decline This great devising, misguided enterprising I find myself right back here
11.
If could have and should have were wit and charming I would find that to be pleasantly disarming If could have and should have were an exotic liqueur I would need some assistance getting off the floor If could have and should have were chips and pretzels The beer distributor must’ve been having quite a special If could have and should have were a new pair of shoes I would prefer to wear a pair comfortably used How do I disconnect? It’s relentless Analysis and commentary Pounding in my head, involuntary Could have, should have, might have, maybe Memory is sharp but conviction is hazy How do I disconnect? It’s relentless
12.

about

Pittsburgh's Vehicle Flips rose from the glorious ashes of Wimp Factor 14. This was their first CD along with two singles on Harriet; they later released two more CDs on the Magic Marker label.

credits

released July 8, 2021

Vocals, Guitar – Frank P. Boscoe
Guitar – Jeff Schreckengost
Bass – Timothy Parker
Drums – Craig Whitman

Producer, Engineer – Rob Christiansen, Vehicle Flips
Design [Cover & Booklet Design] – Jeff Schreckengost, Vehicle Flips
Photography [Back Cover] – Kevin Whitloc
Photography [Front Cover] – Kelly Casey
Photography [Back Cover] – Joanna Michaelides

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about

Harriet Records Port Jefferson, New York

I ran Harriet Records between 1989 and 1998 out of Cambridge, MA. I released 10 CDs (most of which are available here) and 45 singles. There are 11 "new" releases so far, most recently the Coronets (London, ca 2000) and Kisswhistle (Pittsburgh). New releases next year by Chris Barickman, the Lookout Honeys, and a follow-up Ekphrastics CD!
-- Tim Alborn
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